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Women, perhaps more than men, think of whatever it is that happens, as their fault.

Women tend to take things personally. By nature, they often feel responsible for
everything that happens around them. They hear a criticism, for instance, and they see it as some sort of failing in themselves. And that sense of personal failing creates an emotional cloud that hampers their ability to evaluate what’s happening in the moment and hijacks their decision-making for the next two hours.

I call this very common pattern The OOPS factor: emotional reactions to Obstacles, Other People, and Self.

So what exactly is the OOPS Factor?

Obstacles are external circumstances and events that impact your business. Other people – well that’s obvious, but it includes their opinions, criticisms and reactions. Self is your own hidden beliefs and assumptions about who you have to be or become create sales success.

All of these OOPS become an issue because of your natural way of experiencing
things emotionally.

Now – here’s the funny thing – your emotions are an unusual gift. Your emotions
actually give you an edge in sales when you are able to use them to as a “tuning
fork.” In other words, you can use your feelings to gauge what your prospect is
feeling, and get “hidden information” about where they are in the buying cycle and use that information to help guide them to where they want to be (using your
product or service).

The opportunity is to embrace this natural ability and use it to it’s fullest.

Here are a few simple steps you can use to eliminate the emotional static of the
OOPS Factors and clear the channel to “direct resonance” with your prospects.


  1. Recognize the simple truth that obstacles happen in every business. They are never a reflection of you or your abilities.
  2. Identify the circumstances you can control and let go of the ones you cannot. (This step alone will give you much more power.)
  3. Make a plan to control the things you can. (Take action.)

Other People

  1. Engage your rational mind and put emotional responses on the back burner. (Hint: pretend you are evaluating someone else’s business.)
  2. Listen to what’s being said exclusively for information that will help you succee or move your business forward.
  3. Take immediate action on any new insights you learn. (Take action.)


  1. Fill in the blank: In order to be successful, I have to be __________.
    (List your top 3)
  2. Challenge belief: Who told me that? How do I KNOW it’s true? Are there any circumstances where this is NOT true?
  3. Write new belief statements that align with who you are. (Take action.)

Don’t be deceived by the simplicity of these steps. I’ve taught them to thousands of
sales professionals and business owners and they work. Try them and feel your
newfound emotional clarity and power.

~Rhonda Anderson

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